Jack's Cure
by AnotherSparrowGroupY
Summary: Jack must play marriage counselor to the hapless newly weds. JackWillElizAnaMaria... YES all together.


Disclaimer : I don't even know why I bother. You all know that I don't own anything of that stupid mouse's right? Right. And you know that I wish I did, right? Right. Splendid! Go read my smut.   
  
A/N: This is total, unabashed smut. And who be the perpetrator? Why… ELIZABETH, of course! Ha. You'll notice that every scene with an even remotely sexual connotation in the movie was instigated by that high maintenance wench. Anyhow, this lemon may be too tart and lacking in a substantial plot for some. But if you just want some laughs and a nice tingling sensation, here you are: this is a Jack/Will/Elizabeth/AnaMaria fiction. In other words, it's an orgy, children. Yay for my twisted musings. Enjoy.   
  
  
  
Things around the Swann mansion were… well-- for lack of a better word… tense. Especially the newly wed mister and missus. But after their wedding night, who could blame them? It had all been absolutely perfect. Elizabeth had looked stunning in a satin wedding gown with a ten foot train, Will was quite the handsome groom done up in clothes that easily overshadowed those he had bought with the small fortune Jack had insisted he take from the mountains of treasure on the Isla de Muerta. The service had been beautiful, everyone had clapped and cheered, the kiss at the alter had been at the very least, comparable to the one that Will and Elizabeth had shared the day of Jack's escape.   
  
  
  
~~~  
  
But that night was an entirely different story. After all of the celebrating and congratulations was over and they were left alone, they headed for the bedroom, faces blushing, hearts pounding and palms sweating in anticipation of what was to happen. It was a little bit awkward, a little bit fumbling, but they managed to get their clothes of. Will's hands were trembling so badly he wasn't much help when it came to Elizabeth's gown. But thank god she was patient, so blessedly patient with his bungling. When the time came, Will watched his new wife slip out of her cotton shift with a timorous look, roughened hands covering the extent of his passionate arousal. He watched the garment slide, as if in slow motion, past her shoulders, her breasts, felt his breath hitch slightly just as the thin cloth caught on her erect nipples, shuddered when her flat belly was exposed and finally… when the soft looking mound of dark curls between her supple thighs came into view, he was horrified to feel his hands become wet with the hot product of a pre-mature ejaculation. Those big, brown, puppy eyes widened in distress.   
  
"What is it, Will? Is-- is something wrong… with me?" Elizabeth murmured uneasily.   
  
Distracted, Will looked up from his treacherous genitalia, a panicked expression now evident, "What? No! No, of course not!" he exclaimed, holding up his palms defensively, momentarily forgetting what now coated them.   
  
Elizabeth quirked a curious brow, "What's that on your hands, Will?" Stepping closer, Will could do nothing to hide his palm as she snatched one to inspect it.   
  
He winced as mortification overtook him.   
  
"Oh…" Elizabeth's eyebrows shot up as she realized what the fluid was, her pouting lips forming a perfect model of the simple utterance. His embarrassment suddenly became clear to her and she smiled awkwardly. "Oh, Will, it's all right. It's our first time," she assured him.   
  
Opening his eyes, Will breathed a sigh of relief when he saw the look of understanding in his beloved wife's eyes. "Are you sure?" he murmured unsurely.   
  
"Of course! Listen, come to bed, all right? We'll just hold each other for a bit," Elizabeth soothed.   
  
"All right. Let me just… clean up…" Will muttered guiltily.   
  
He was just turning to the wash basin on the nightstand beside the bed when a thought came to Elizabeth and reached forward, snatching his hand in her own once more. Confused, Will watched as she brought his roughened palm to her lips with a deliberately salacious look and a pert, pink tongue slid out to capture some of the milky liquid.   
  
"Nngh!" he groaned as he repeated the earlier incident with a little more intensity.   
  
Elizabeth's jaw dropped in surprise and incredulity.   
  
"Elizabeth!" Will gasped almost accusatorily, trying to take a steady breath.   
  
"Oh, god, Will, I'm so sorry. I didn't know… I was just trying to… you know… prepare you again. Suppose I should have reconsidered…" she murmured awkwardly.  
  
At this point it was amazing that Will was even capable of having an erection, for it seemed every bit of spare blood in his body had traveled to his face, causing it to turn a mottled crimson.   
  
"Will, darling, don't be embarrassed!" Elizabeth stammered. Glancing downward at the lingering hard-on, she reached down to stroke it once, "Look, you're still--"   
  
She was interrupted by her husband's sharp moan. Looking down, she saw that *her* hands were now   
  
covered in the third batch of his abundant semen.   
  
~~~  
  
Since that night, Will had been completely unable to obtain even a partial erection, let alone anything substantial enough to liberate Elizabeth from her virginity with. Both of them were absolutely miserable and every moment alone was so… awkward. More and more often they found themselves avoiding each other. Will congratulated himself daily on what an effective job he done in completely alienating his wife. Inevitable, the night came when Elizabeth could take it no longer. She decided that she and Will… would have to have a talk…  
  
******  
  
A/N: Well, there's the first chapter. Poor Will… like the puppy that couldn't make it to the newspaper in time. ::Shakes head:: Never fear, Jack can help. Jack practically invented sex (Just ask him, he'll tell you all about it). Oh, for those of you who would care to know, I almost entitled this chapter "Oops, I did It Again." Next chapter Jack makes an appearance in a big way. Looking forward to it. Ciao. 


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